And it's not one I like.
It's a new semester, a new me, and a new year! Yesterday I was walking to class on our first day back with a friend, and I was telling her how I really think this is a new start for me. It's the beginning of the life that I've always wished I could have, and now I feel like I'm finally in a place where I can start to appreciate what I have and love my life. I told her that I felt inexplicably happy and on top of the world!
Then he called.
It's something I thought about for WEEKS after we broke up...I dreamed about what the situation would be, that he'd beg me to come back, and I'd get to tell him that I'm just not interested anymore...and I would feel so empowered as a result! So of course, just when I had given up that fantasy and would never in a million years expect to hear my phone ring and see Mr. Ex's number pop up on the caller ID, it so happened. I freaked out and actually answered...what was said doesn't matter, but Mr. Ex was inebriated and I was not in the mood.
After a couple of minutes of processing the phone call, I started to get frustrated. Why do men always seem to know when their ex-girlfriends are moving on and then they try to move in and screw it up? It's just not fair.
I'm quite proud of the fact that after he called I did not try to contact him in any way. He sent me a text today, but it has gone unanswered on my end. I didn't let it ruin the plans I had for the night either, and I'm not letting it affect how I'm living my life from here on out.
I feel moved on. YAY!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Hold It....
Recently I came to a very stunning realization, and I happened upon it totally unexpectedly.
Last month, I went through a really tough breakup. It was really devastating, although not totally surprising. Cheaters will be cheaters, and liars will be, well, liars. All in all, we had a good relationship while it lasted (before the cheating and the lying part of course...actually, somewhere in between the cheating and the lying it wasn't bad, but the uncovering of the lie sort of ruined it). It was simply time to let go and become the young, fun, love-my-life single girl that I know I can be, and should have allowed myself to become back in August.
Anyhow, I stumbled upon something that totally changed the way I viewed my breakup with Mr. Ex. I was finally in a place where I could respect him and what we had and move on. I was visiting my old high school and talking to a mutual friend of mine and Mr. Ex. The friend mentioned that the Ex had spoken briefly about our breakup with people who knew us both but wouldn't say much.
EXCUSE ME? He's not telling people that he cheated and lied? My head was spinning, and I wasn't sure what to make of this information. Okay, so Mr. Ex is letting people believe that I was this needy little princess who wouldn't let go...and maybe I had my moments of that exact syndrome (what girl wouldn't?!), but he's not informing people of the real reason that I decided his ass was better off kicked to the curb?
After a few moments of breathing deeply, I realized....of COURSE he's not telling his friends he cheated on me and lied to me. I wish he'd be honest so that I would be fairly represented, but that's my inner diva speaking. There's a part of me that wants everyone to know that HE'S the douchebag and I'm the innocent bystander, not the bratty princess.
I realized that in order to be the bigger man (woman?) in this situation, I need to....let go. Let Mr. Ex tell his friends what he wants. Now I did not even do anything close to cheating and lying, but it's not like we had a perfect relationship in the last few months before it ended. I'm at my new school now and I can finally leave high school and his lying ass behind me. And I can honestly say that I think I'm happier without him now.
Last month, I went through a really tough breakup. It was really devastating, although not totally surprising. Cheaters will be cheaters, and liars will be, well, liars. All in all, we had a good relationship while it lasted (before the cheating and the lying part of course...actually, somewhere in between the cheating and the lying it wasn't bad, but the uncovering of the lie sort of ruined it). It was simply time to let go and become the young, fun, love-my-life single girl that I know I can be, and should have allowed myself to become back in August.
Anyhow, I stumbled upon something that totally changed the way I viewed my breakup with Mr. Ex. I was finally in a place where I could respect him and what we had and move on. I was visiting my old high school and talking to a mutual friend of mine and Mr. Ex. The friend mentioned that the Ex had spoken briefly about our breakup with people who knew us both but wouldn't say much.
EXCUSE ME? He's not telling people that he cheated and lied? My head was spinning, and I wasn't sure what to make of this information. Okay, so Mr. Ex is letting people believe that I was this needy little princess who wouldn't let go...and maybe I had my moments of that exact syndrome (what girl wouldn't?!), but he's not informing people of the real reason that I decided his ass was better off kicked to the curb?
After a few moments of breathing deeply, I realized....of COURSE he's not telling his friends he cheated on me and lied to me. I wish he'd be honest so that I would be fairly represented, but that's my inner diva speaking. There's a part of me that wants everyone to know that HE'S the douchebag and I'm the innocent bystander, not the bratty princess.
I realized that in order to be the bigger man (woman?) in this situation, I need to....let go. Let Mr. Ex tell his friends what he wants. Now I did not even do anything close to cheating and lying, but it's not like we had a perfect relationship in the last few months before it ended. I'm at my new school now and I can finally leave high school and his lying ass behind me. And I can honestly say that I think I'm happier without him now.
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